I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
love makes seman taste better
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
