Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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