im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
