gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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