we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
