We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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