omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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