Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Randomize
