Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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