i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
