Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
