Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize