I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
