Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
