Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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