Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
