New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
