whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
