his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize