You made me cry and you don't even care
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
