stop calling my apartment porn island.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
