you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, beer. Big fan.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
