I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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