there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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