how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
