Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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