You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
