I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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