Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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