You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
