nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
