I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
