I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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