He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
