I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
