You're my little dorito
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
