I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
