Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
