he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
