he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
