I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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