do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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