Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize