So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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