she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
