We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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