Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize