Me too!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
