There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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