It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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