Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
