Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize