Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
