first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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