New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
