Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
