check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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