girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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