after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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