Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize