Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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