Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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