I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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