I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And then my night got REAL pukey
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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