Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
