Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize