grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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