3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
