I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have tasted many bathrooms
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
