If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
