Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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